leprechaun dance

Another Day...........

Today, is just another day to many people. And to me its just  884  days without my mother near me.

I don't think that since she has been gone, my heart has truly ever mended. Its like a band aid was placed over my heart where the wound is, but not completely healed. I don't think that it ever will be completely healed.

She was my best friend, and she was the only one that I could confide in. Anytime of day or night. No matter the issue, big or small. Nothing was too silly or stupid to say, she always listened. She may not have liked what I said, but she listened. That's all that mattered.

 I miss going to her house, just popping by to say HI or dropping off some goodies for her to eat. Just driving over there, to see her outside, weeding the front yard, or picking flowers, mowing the lawn, sitting on the porch, watching the world go by....

 I miss the smell of her house, hazelnut candles all over the place.. a smell that I will never forget. And multiple bottles of air freshener tucked in secret hiding spots so that my youngest daughter would not find them and use them all while spraying the floors. ( he he he he)

 Having a cup of coffee, smoking a cigarette with her while she was so intently involved in her Law & Order shows on TV. Listening to the dog - "Penny" bark, or whine and lick you to death, either that or pee on you because she was so excited that you were there, and maybe --- just possibly had a doggie treat for her.

 Taking my mother to the store - "saks" to get her KOOLs and scratch off tickets was a daily routine, and Riley was able to ride the orange/reddish mechanical pig at the store for 10 cents, although she was afraid of it, she still wanted to show grama how she could master that damn pig at age 2. Then stop and get a few Slim Jim's for the short ride home.

 There are so many things that I can say about what I miss most about my mother. No matter the amount of words that I type, it will not bring her back. It will just let her memory live on through this blog and my words.

 I miss her so much, and loosing her at age 29, was something that I never thought that I would have to deal with in my lifetime. Nor did my brother, when he was only 18. This is something that made us bond on a level that most siblings cannot not will ever achieve.

 I am thankful that I still have my brother, Aaron here with me... in this crazy hectic world. I do not know what I would do if I ever lost him too. I made a promise to my mother that I would keep him safe, and I can only hope that I am able to full fill that promise.

 Mom... I miss you more than words can ever say.

Count Up Toy & MySpace Layouts